Breakups -- Some I mourned, some I didn't. Here's what life (or Higher Power) taught me: Last break-up was in my early 30s. I finally let go and turned to my career. Professor by day, freelance tech writer by night. Covered trade shows, met lots of men, had lunch and dinner with a bunch. Some hit on me, but if it didn't resonate, said: "You deserve someone who is crazy about you. I think you're great, but I don't feel that way, so I don't want you to waste your time." Or a gentler equivalent.
Paid my own way (or expense acct). Life went on. Looked for boyfriends, looked, looked, and looked. Didn't happen. Years rolled by. Often I was saddened by not being in a relationship, but I just didn't. Friends, colleagues, sources, admirers -- I had them all, but not that special person.
Here is what I want you to know about my experience: When the right person comes, you will know. So will he. Or she. It will resonate to your bones. You won't have to ask (at least for long): 'Is he the one?' I promise you, you will know.
So here's what happened:
I waited. And waited. I gave up and just built a life (and career) for myself. My 2 sisters felt sorry for me "Poor Joan, she just never found anybody...How could she, there are no men here age..."
Then, dammit, if he didn't show up when I was 64 years old. His wife had died 5 years earlier and had time to grieve before retiring and moving to my city. We married in Macchu Pichu the next year. My family adores him. We've been married 11 years now.
He is my soul mate. We have the same grad degree and text books, tho different interests in the field. Our fiction overlaps about 50%; we recommend books to one another all the time. Our music overlaps about 30%. We both love travel, movies, politics. (Thank God, he is a progressive liberal -- that's a tremendous thing, actually.)
We are much alike: Introverted, wide-ranging interests, good writers (we work very well together, alternating author/editor roles easily), quick-tempered/quick to apologize, abhorrence of social embarrassment, so we fight privately and engage in polite social pretense when necessary.
So my formula is: Wait. Create a life for yourself worth living. Live that life with flair, adventure, and satisfactions. Then, no matter how it goes, you have no regrets.
I'm no guru or life coach, but that's what made for a happy life for me. <fingers crossed you find your happy life!>
Good luck with novel #2!
Most def
Breakups -- Some I mourned, some I didn't. Here's what life (or Higher Power) taught me: Last break-up was in my early 30s. I finally let go and turned to my career. Professor by day, freelance tech writer by night. Covered trade shows, met lots of men, had lunch and dinner with a bunch. Some hit on me, but if it didn't resonate, said: "You deserve someone who is crazy about you. I think you're great, but I don't feel that way, so I don't want you to waste your time." Or a gentler equivalent.
Paid my own way (or expense acct). Life went on. Looked for boyfriends, looked, looked, and looked. Didn't happen. Years rolled by. Often I was saddened by not being in a relationship, but I just didn't. Friends, colleagues, sources, admirers -- I had them all, but not that special person.
Here is what I want you to know about my experience: When the right person comes, you will know. So will he. Or she. It will resonate to your bones. You won't have to ask (at least for long): 'Is he the one?' I promise you, you will know.
So here's what happened:
I waited. And waited. I gave up and just built a life (and career) for myself. My 2 sisters felt sorry for me "Poor Joan, she just never found anybody...How could she, there are no men here age..."
Then, dammit, if he didn't show up when I was 64 years old. His wife had died 5 years earlier and had time to grieve before retiring and moving to my city. We married in Macchu Pichu the next year. My family adores him. We've been married 11 years now.
He is my soul mate. We have the same grad degree and text books, tho different interests in the field. Our fiction overlaps about 50%; we recommend books to one another all the time. Our music overlaps about 30%. We both love travel, movies, politics. (Thank God, he is a progressive liberal -- that's a tremendous thing, actually.)
We are much alike: Introverted, wide-ranging interests, good writers (we work very well together, alternating author/editor roles easily), quick-tempered/quick to apologize, abhorrence of social embarrassment, so we fight privately and engage in polite social pretense when necessary.
So my formula is: Wait. Create a life for yourself worth living. Live that life with flair, adventure, and satisfactions. Then, no matter how it goes, you have no regrets.
I'm no guru or life coach, but that's what made for a happy life for me. <fingers crossed you find your happy life!>