Love notes from Siel is a newsletter about love, writing, and the nomad life from me, Siel.
Dear friend —
There’s something about America that makes you feel you must upgrade your life.
An example: Until last month, I traveled across continents with just three hair products — shampoo, conditioner, and a styling cream, all picked up on the cheap at supermarkets and drugstores. Then I returned to the U.S. and started getting bombarded with ads from Prose.
“Three signs it’s time to ditch your old shampoo,” they said — then named issues I’d been noticing about my hair! Yes, the ends felt dry! Yes, my scalp itched sometimes. Yes, I was annoyed by flyaways!
Prose promised I could have fuller, shinier, thicker, softer hair if I got their “free consultation” — aka took an online quiz — and bought customized haircare products.
Friend, I took the quiz. Then I balked at the price: $151.30 a month for a pre-shampoo hair mask, shampoo, conditioner, and something called Root Source Hair Supplements.
Was the lack of a pre-shampoo hair mask holding my hair back from its full potential? Did I really need to take supplements for my hair every day? I took another quiz on Briogeo for good measure — and this haircare line recommended new shampoo and conditioner plus: hair oil, leave-in conditioning spray, heat protectant cream — as well as a weekly scalp exfoliator and deep conditioning hair mask.
What to do? I started reading review after review of both brands. Quite a few women claimed the haircare lines had either totally saved or totally ruined their lives. So much drama! Many reviews were remarkably long and detailed — basically full-on hair biographies. “Let me start off with some background,” began one. “When I blow dry I look like Diana Ross.”
Finally I went with Briogeo, mainly because Prose only delivers to the U.S. and Canada while I plan to keep traveling. In the week during which I waited for it to arrive, Instagram pummeled me with more haircare ads: a dry hair mask, a “bond repair treatment,” supplements to keep my hair from going gray, a heated brush to touch up hair after a workout, a “scalp relief system,” a hair cleanser that was somehow different from a traditional shampoo, serums for thinning hair, heatless hair curlers —
The Briogeo package arrived. The box was large, filled as it was with seven products.
“How are you going to travel with all of those?” My sister asked. “You’re going to have to stop being a nomad just to take care of your hair.”
The results: My hair does look and feel better now! It’s less tangly, more bouncy looking — and my scalp isn’t itchy! I still have some flyaways but they seem less frizzy.
What exactly caused this change? I looked up how to get healthy hair. The general advice was to just do less — less blowdrying and flat-ironing, fewer chemical treatments, maybe even fewer washes, and fewer harsh ingredients in hair products — namely silicone and sulfates, which could cause itchy, flaky scalp and dry, brittle hair.
I was pretty proud of myself then — Briogeo products were silicone and sulfate free! Then I realized there were much more affordable haircare products that were also silicone and sulfate free, like the SheaMoisture line available at most drug stores —
Somehow I fit all seven hair products into my suitcase. They and I are now in San Juan, Puerto Rico. More about that soon —
Love,
Siel
P.S. What’s your haircare routine?
Three links you might love:
Two L.A. women writers on Botox: Edan Lepucki says “I know I ‘need’ Botox and I’m still not going to get it” while Summer Block Lizer says “make me someone who accepts aging, but not yet.”
The politics of conspicuous displays of self-care. “The risk of promoting individual self-care as a solution to existential anxiety or oppression is that victims will become isolated in a futile struggle to solve their own problems rather than to collectively change the systems causing them harm.”
The hidden cost of free returns. “Most online shoppers assume that items they return go back into regular inventory, to be sold again at full price. That rarely happens.”
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I shudder to think of the bombardment of beauty ads women face day in and day out. As far as I can tell, men get vastly fewer ads for hair care products etc., though I'm sure I see far more of these ads than I used to. (Heaven help me if the advertisers ever figure out that I have a full beard with grays that sometimes go haywire.) It seems to be similar for supplements, E.D. treatments, etc. — even when I've never been in the market for them. Anything to make us question our hygiene, health, attractiveness, or (im)mortality, right?
Also, I think this is a great picture of you! You look happy and full of life!
I use Brixy bar shampoo, to eliminate plastic, and I wash my hair only when it starts to feel yucky--not every day--so my natural oils nourish it. I don’t use any other hair product. Whenever I want to do something striking or unusual, I get creative with braids and twists, often depending on what I dreamed or saw the night or day before. (Did I see a fox? I make two twists for “fox ears.” Did a dream person inspire me? I mimic their hair as much as possible.)