a thing that’s not easy to explain

Isn’t it strange what we’ve normalized?

Love notes from Siel is a weekly newsletter from Siel, who used to live in Los Angeles but is currently traveling around. If you love the notes, subscribe for free.

Dear friend —

It’s not that easy to explain to people why, after about a year of international travel, you’re suddenly going to spend a month in a small town in Illinois called Lake Forest. When I mentioned my plans in conversation over the summer, people had questions: Do you have family in Lake Forest? No. Friends? No. Does the place have famous sights, interesting architecture, restful spa resorts? No, no, and no.

I’m in Lake Forest for a writing residency — a thing that’s also not that easy to explain to people who don’t happen to be writers or artists. You’re flying to the middle of the Midwest just to write? they asked. Why don’t you just write here?

These are fair questions, actually. Residencies exist to allow artists to step away from their busy daily routines — spouses and kids and day jobs and chores, presumably — to instead focus wholly on artmaking. If however, you already have few responsibilities and can set your schedule around your art, there isn’t much to step away from. 

In fact, since moving from Mexico City to Lake Forest on Labor Day for my residency at Ragdale, my daily schedule hasn’t changed all that much. Even my time zone is the same! Writing, eating, sleeping — these make up the bulk of my life and still happen around the same times every day. 

There are, though, some key differences. One important one: A chef prepares dinner for the nine residents every evening with fresh vegetables from the Ragdale garden. Salads with drunken berries, pot roast, mashed sweet potatoes, turkey meatloaf — suddenly I’m eating healthy, home-cooked meals on a daily basis.

Another difference: As far as I can tell, Lake Forest has no night life. Instead of going dancing, I now go for long walks through the nearby prairie (I actually had to look up what exactly a prairie is; it seems to be like a forest, except with fewer trees, more grass) or to the local beach, a small stretch of sand a couple miles away. There are deer, rabbits, and lots of squirrels in the area — plus coyotes that occasionally make a lot of noise at night.

I’m also surrounded by books — the physical kind, not the Kindle fare I’ve had to resign myself to in recent years. Ragdale is full of bookshelves. My suite alone has two, in fact, with a motley collection of paperbacks — one of which is a collection of writings by Daniil Kharms called Today I Wrote Nothing. That title gives me a mild anxiety attack every morning.

Could I live here permanently? No. But I’m enjoying my temporary stay! The weather’s been lovely, the staff kind. Martín, the resident visual artist, speaks fluent Spanish and is helping me toward my goal of attaining fluency. Lauren, the resident poet, performed a full moon tarot readings the other night. According to the cards, good things are coming.

It’s so peaceful here that it’s extra jarring to read the news — especially about places that I’ve been to recently. Most of the world seems to be going through major crises. In Jackson, Mississippi — which back in May last year I described as “a humid mix of thriving green foliage and decaying city infrastructure” — is without clean water, thanks to crumbling systems that haven’t gotten the attention and funding they’ve needed for a long, long time. In Rome, dumpster fires are smoking up the city. In Los Angeles, a hurricane warning came on the heels of an intense heatwave, breaking both heat and rain records.

Isn’t it strange what we’ve normalized? Catastrophic climate change rife with fires and floods. A neverending pandemic. Homelessness, waterlessness, clean-airlessness. The continued invasion and destruction of Ukraine —

And here I am, in my little suite in Lake Forest, Illinois, reading my random books, writing my little self-indulgent love notes — 

When I remember to feel lucky, I do.

Stay well —

Love,

Siel

In the Ragdale house on a very rainy day

Three links you might love:

1. Women would rather be single than date assholes — so men are getting lonelier. “The unvarnished truth is that women – particularly over a certain age – are no longer willing to put up with behaviour that doesn’t make us feel great about ourselves. And we are not going to saddle ourselves with someone who makes life harder.”

2. "His love was abundant when it came to himself, but for his children it was limited.” Man writes brutally honest obituary about his alcoholic and abusive father.

3. For smart laughs, watch Brian Simpson’s set on Netflix’s The Standups (season 3, episode 1). Here’s a sample:

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